wonder if I change my name in venmo to Joe or Gary or something if I'll get accidental money

Sucking the juice out of a soup dumpling reminds me of how lonely I am

i like how capitalism tech likes to get rly hecking angry at people for wanting administrator privileges on their own phone

🎄❄ Happy Holidays folks!

I heard the pleasant melodies of a Christmas tune grace my ears as I took a short stroll. It grew closer until I was just about to pass by the owner of such a festive apartment and then a man heaves his head out the window, coughs at me and flips me off for the rest of the block

I'm highly skeptical of this Google Home Mini promotion with Spotify Premium, still copped tho

Still lonely. Redownloaded bumble. On an semi-related note I feel like trash.

2000s hackers: My dream is to connect all of my devices to the internet.
2020s hackers: My dream is to disconnect all of my devices from the internet.

Drinking a glass of Merlot (at 4am) and popping m&ms into my mouth. All of a sudden I taste what reminds me of iceberg lettuce

Just heated up cold pizza in the toaster for the first time aaaannnndddd that worked like a dream so I’m thoroughly happy with life atm


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