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Good Morning, all

This is the last time I can refer to our Second-Past-The-Post Prime Minister (aka Rishi Sunak) as is quoting the Exit Poll as follows:

410 -- LAB
131 -- CON
61 -- LD
13 -- REF
10 -- SNP
25 -- Other

(with possibly two GREEN MPs).

Few counts have reported so far but already ROBERT BUCKLAND is OUT!

So many Portillo moments; perhaps Sunak has met his Portaloo but certainly the Nastiz are 'Nnihilated; the Tories are Toast...

+

It's all over bar the counting...

On a personal level, it is such a relief, I feel like I've woken from a 14-year nightmare. Today is a new tomorrow, and once I've slept on it and the final results are in, I should take some time to re-evaluate where I go with my own life from now.

The enthusiasm demonstrated by Carol Vorderman (catch it on on Catch-Up) should rub off on all of us.


+

Much enjoyed reprising that Portillo Moment when Michael Portillo lost his seat in 1997, saying

"It's a terrible night for the Conservatives..."

But presumably a great dawn for railway porn?

If not for tractor porn...

And GILLIAN KEEGAN is OUT!

Chichester has gone Lib-Dem...

The bad news (except for Comedy Central) is that MARK FRANCOIS has held his seat.


Telford has swung to Labour by 24.2%

That is apparently the largest swing ever from CON to LAB during a general election.

We live in changing times, as quipped that the Swingometer (remember that?) only ever went up to 15%.

#GE2024#LBC#R4Today
Philip C James

Lee Anderson - 30p Lee - has won Ashfield for Reform.

You can fool some of the people all of the time...


GEORGE GALLOWAY has lost Rochdale back to Labour.

He didn't turn up to the count, apparently.


The Acting Returning Officer for Islington South has turned up in a tricorn hat, robe and chain of office. Returning Officers are taking a leaf out of Count Binface and the Monster Raving Loony Party's Book Of Election Night Etiquette...

Oh, and Emily Thornberry has been returned as Islington South's MP.



Keir Starmer is returned to Parliament as MP for Holborn & St Pancras with over 18,000 votes.

Elmo got 60 votes.



GRANT SHAPPS has lost to Labour in Welwyn Hatfield!

Labour has taken the scalps not only of Grant Shapps but also Michael Green, Sebastian Fox and Corinne Stockheath.




A split in the Labour vote means that IAIN DUNCAN and SMITH, sorry, Iain Duncan-Smith, retain their seat in Chingford.

The Quiet Man coughed as he waited for his chance to speak.

Like other Conservative candidates who've lost tonight, (Irritable Dunkin' Syndrome) did not wear the familiar dark blue Conservative rosette. It's almost as if they think the Tory Brand is Toxic.



To ...

Nigel Paul Farage gets 21,000+ votes.

I cannot even come to say it...



Labour's Jonathan Ashworth has apparently lost to an independent in Leicester South.




MICHAEL FABRICANT is OUT!

has regected Boris Johnson's Mini-Me (and a Wig more than a Whig).




The Green Party Co-Leader has won Bristol Central from Labour.

Carla Denyer has beaten Thangam Debbonaire.



They say "The Good die early..."

And the truly vile go on to retain their seats.

Both Suella Braverman and Kemi Badenoch are heading back to the Commons.



PENNY MORDAUNT is OUT.

Penny Mordaunt gets to spend more time carrying her sword...




Labour has held Merthyr Tydfil.

As I grew up there, I'm pleased Merthyr rejected the siren calls from the Faragists (who held their campaign launch there) and did not elect a Reform Party Ltd MP.



Wera Hobhouse has held Bath for the Lib-Dems.

Labour beat the Nastiz into third place.

Depending on what happens to the Conservative Party in the coming years, many more Bathonians may choose to vote Green at future general elections (their vote rose 12.1% as that of the Lib-Dems declined 12.1%)




bbc.co.uk/news/election/2024/u

BBC NewsBath - General election results 2024Get the latest news and election results in the 2024 General election from BBC News

That conniving Hunt has held onto Godalming by the skin of his teeth.



Count Binface has, sadly, failed to dislodge Rishi Sunak, our former Second-Past-The-Post Prime Minister from the seat of Richmond.



It's fair to say that Rishi Sunak has been led by his party to a resounding defeat in the 2024 General Election.

Special Mentions to:







@PhilipCJames all you would have to do to win that area would be to promise to fill in the potholes. It's like driving through the
Somme.

The trend seems to be that Reform do best in the most deprived areas with little hope.

@dave @PhilipCJames Farage's cronies seem to be doing well in areas that had their heavy industry killed off in the Thatcher years and that seem to have been neglected ever since.