@noracodes that or reporting. Which to be honest, I don't have a lot of faith actually does much. It might if I moved instances, but nobody seems to understand is yet another point of friction. And it sure feels like victim blaming to tell people "well, you're just on a bad instance"
That gets to the very core of my central conflict here. What is mastodon? The space between the instances or the instances themselves?
The answer is yes. And it's infuriating.
Moving instances may not help so much in your case. Moderation is hard to scale, & instances with "good moderation" generally manage that by keeping the moderation effort low -- which they tend to do by keeping the number of users low. This works so long as none of the users are microcelebrities. If one very-popular user is getting more interactions than 100 normal users, the moderation load is liable to get out of control (especially with technical content, which attracts a big audience of socially-inept people who love to argue).
I guess some people have been able to make it work. Whatever Cory Doctorow is doing seems to be working out for him, but his solution might literally be to employ staff.