Slow rural wifi is a punishment from god for baling hay and riding horses, two objectively evil things that all rural folx do

I like how every Tom Waits song sounds like it was written and performed by skeletons

I love my eBay emails. You bought one sub-$100 Soviet watch, so you would like to look at $5000 watches each and every week

there's a lot wrong with this article but oof this is just...bafflingly wrong? my dude seems to think that the civil rights movement started with the version white people are comfortable with in hindsight and that all the other parts were...later activists going too far? what?

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friend: doggiecoin is about to hit 40 cents haha, Elon musk is a God. Did you see he Rick Rolled the President in a tweet?

Me, damn near enlightenment from the 32oz Cold Brew from earlier : no seriously, I dont give a fuck about cryptocurrency. As a mechanic, maybe invest in fixing that oil leak in your Nissan Sentra instead. You’ve been leaving a big puddle of oil in your parking spot for months and also what I suspect is a coolant leak. It’s bad for the environment and animals tend to gravitate toward the sweet aroma of coolant and end up ingesting some of it, which is incredibly toxic for them.

[Early to mid aughts anti piracy ads voice] You Wouldn’t Kiss A Slug

It is the sleepy time. But also... perhaps the not sleepy time 😈

Wait so I posted a bunch of memes on here earlier and put alt text where the post asks for it (see image) but I see other folks putting the alt text & IDs in the caption. Is one option better than the other?

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