Pinned post

Personal 

I just realized I haven’t physically hugged anyone in over five years! I’m slowly getting there.

Where the hell did I end up …

There’s spray-tan Wendy Williams to my left chugging a bottle of wine through a jumbo straw … then 1980’s Vanilla Ice to my right who can’t stop slicking his hair back while pulling his shades down every time a woman strolls by … and of course low-budget DJ Khaled butchering every. single. song right behind me …

I can’t handle this.

I passed out so early last night, and pretty sure I got up at one point to do laundry but it may have been a dream (or a nightmare)

Never cared for rice pudding until I realized how hungry I was.

I can't believe my new work handed me boots for free. And they have heels! (for working, of course)

It seems I have stumbled across a section of town where the IQ has dropped off by about 50 points. This is scary.

Show thread

US Police 

So I watched a demonstration where US Police were showing a crowd how they train German Shepherds to "attack anyone not wearing a uniform" ...

Officer: "Don't worry, the dog will only bite once, then clamp its jaw down on their arm, and let go when we tell it to"

Girl in safety suit: "aah! It's biting my leg! It's not letting go!!"

Crowd: "Woooo! Yayyy, we love dogs!"

NOPE. That's enough for me. I'm not coming back.

Please be kind to each other, and also to yourself, especially wait, hold on … who’s calling me …

Oh ffs EAT SHIT, SPAMMERS

So anyway we’re all doing our best, and it’s important to remember FUCK! hold on … there’s another call coming in …

Car insurance?! Who the hell willingly goes into Sales?!!

Right, like I was saying - please be kind to each other.

I wish I knew who did the album artwork. Apparently this was from 1995.

Show thread

Sometimes I’ll just let Siri play whatever they think I said. Here’s a sample …

🎵 Thumper - Holy Roller

youtu.be/WtthU0pN2FI

I discovered tape on the wheel of this chair, and now that it's gone - wheeeeeee!

Sometimes I make #music, so if you like house / electro / breaks - check out my random creations ...

https://hyperfollow.com/fvcktlvsn

I try to keep everything updated, although some links have newer tracks. I made sure to put it all on Bandcamp ...

https://fvcktlvsn.bandcamp.com

(apologies for my terrible mastering). Enjoy! :)
#introductions

Job nonsense 

When the recruiters get desperate ...

"Why are you not picking up your phone?"

👀

A chat with DHL 

“We made an attempt to deliver your package”

You did not.

“We can make another attempt tomorrow”

You won’t.



“We’ll try”

(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

I need to clean my shoes but it seems the rain has stopped. Time to splash in some puddles!

Oh I am absolutely thrilled! A delivery from Ireland arrived today - three beautiful bracelets made from ship rope, with the proceeds going to charity - to help bring food and essentials to children in need. Included was a very sweet handwritten note + a little pack of gummy bears.

I really needed this today. I will wear these bracelets with pride
💜

The cleaning is done. The space is organized. Time for sunshine, lollipops and rainbows.

I'm sitting here cutting up boxes and recycling and whatnot, so I don't know who needs to hear this but ...

It's getting late and I have so much energy. Time for the gym, then a little relaxation before the weekend. I hope everyone gets the time they need to rest and recharge. Sweet dreams!

I'm excited to start a new job where I won't be restricted to a computer all day. I can finally spend my days outside in the world helping others, and that makes me happy.

A good friend of mine said "I hope you send me a photo of you in a hard-hat" Whoo things are about to get interesting!

Show older
mas.to

Hello! mas.to is a general-topic instance. We're enthusiastic about Mastodon and aim to run a fast, up-to-date and fun Mastodon instance.