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I don't boost selfies cause, I dunno, it feels weird to me, but I fav just about every one I see come across my timeline. you got a face? hell yeah, I love that for you

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“do you expect me to talk?”

“no, mr. bond. I expect you to dye. this is an adult learning annex fiber arts class, and you’re being very disruptive”

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you’re a temporarily embarrassed millionaire.
I’m a temporarily inconvenienced skeleton.
we are not the same

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I have eaten
the paste
that was in
the feed store

and which
you were probably
saving
for horses

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The great rot at the heart of American society is our belief that, at the end of the day, we owe nothing to one another.

Blahaj is now available for your blobby emoji needs at heatherhorns.com/blobhaj.zip !

Thanks to the amazing commissioner, these are all free for use. Also in telegram sticker form at t.me/addstickers/blobhaj

(If you want your own, I'm open for commissions!)

Cabin rental listing: we have a jacuzzi
me: yeah yeah, okay
Cabin rental listing: complimentary coffee!
me: obviously
Cabin rental listing: we have our own cave
me: NOW we're fucking TALKING

i have to laugh when people say you get more conservative as you age because i'm 40 and my personal journey has been from "means testing? sounds reasonable i guess" to "this mao guy knows what's up"

going to the consent manufacturing store. anyone need anything while I’m there?

living room implies the existence of dying room that's it that's the joke im logging out

Wordle 

Wordle 214 3/6

⬛🟨🟨⬛🟩
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kid stuff 

“Dad, did I tell you what I’m drawing?”

No

“MechaPope”

Show thread

kid stuff 

it’s spirit week at school and my son went dressed in a white short sleeve button up, skinny black tie, black pants, and black chucks. he looked like he was joining the Jehovah’s witnesses or starting a ska band

Someone from IT calls my work cell and just noodles around on a guitar for half an hour, it's a simulated Phishing attack

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of dat ass

read a book last night instead of the timeline and missed Stone Cold posting

covid-19, usps tests, psa 

The order form opened early: special.usps.com/testkits
----
Residential households in the U.S. can order one set of 4 free at-home tests from USPS.com. Here’s what you need to know about your order:

- Limit of one order per residential address
- One order includes 4 individual rapid antigen COVID-19 tests
- Orders will ship free starting in late January

The world around the Dirty Jobs guy 

A Mike-Rowe-cosm

Wordle 

Wordle 213 5/6

🟩🟨🟨⬛⬛
⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛
🟩🟩🟩⬛⬛
🟩🟩🟩⬛⬛
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

this was the first one I really thought was gonna stump me

weight talk 

it’s a weird, almost dysphoric experience. I’ve been tall and thin, like, doctors telling me I’m almost underweight, my whole life. now I’m an average weight for my height and it makes me feel like a fucking giant

Show thread

weight talk 

I had been basically the same size for the last 20ish years. between working a more physical job and my metabolism finally slowing a bit with age, I’ve put on something like 30 pounds and am just built way bigger now

Show thread

unfucking my bedroom space, which includes going through and trying on all the clothes hanging in my closet, or Jon no longer owns dress pants

LB I don’t have Scorsese opinions, but that’s one hell of a turn of phrase

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