Asked Rory what he wanted to do tomorrow and he said ‘I just want to eat things and do nothing’. The dream.

Like most parents, I have in the past been scornful of Blippi, but I just heard him say ‘ducks are like the sea planes of the bird kingdom’ so now I’m fully on board.

My son just used his spoon to scoop the apple crumble off my spoon and eat it. Apparently this is called ‘sharing’.

I’d like Bake Off to lean into the amateur-ness more. Fridge rammed with leftovers, some of which are in the bowls you need. Doorbells that ring midway through the technical. Every bake starts with half your equipment in the dishwasher.

Finally recycled about five years’ worth of batteries I’ve been saving in a bag and forgetting to take to one of the innumerable places you can recycle them. Perhaps my greatest achievement.

Dreamed I took my fish to the vet because it no longer fit my bike’s fish rack but there was a wait so I ate the fish and then was very upset to realise the fish had not survived this. Is this down to covid or just my usual brain?

How are you supposed to exercise ‘personal responsibility’ over whether your boss makes you go into work?

In ‘The Wrong Trousers’, moon cheese shares have soared but Wallace and Gromit are broke. Did Wallace blow his moon cheese fortune on cosmetic surgery to create his distinctive wide mouth, which is not present in ‘A Grand Day Out’?

Reassuring when the guy at the covid test centre asks ‘Have you done a PCP test before?’

Huge controversy: the stool says ‘All Paws On Deck’, but Rocky is nowhere to be found.

I’d feel much more comfortable walking out of range of my phone while wearing Bluetooth headphones if I hadn’t read that bit in ‘The Amber Spyglass’ where they cross the river in the world of the dead.

Good time to attempt to compete with @Pinboard

This morning the toddler is repeating ‘Daddy was wrong and Mummy was right’. I’m not sure why, but it’s a good phrase to have in the repertoire.

Having a massive row with my toddler about which one’s Charlie and which one’s Lola.

‘If you’re wearing a suit then you’re working.’ ‘If you’re not in the office you’re not working.’ My three year old has a better grasp on the concept than these people. (He thinks you at least have to press buttons on a laptop for it to count.)

The ‘trying to keep a fart in your trousers’ gang may wish to note that your clothes do actually help prevent farts from spreading harmful bacteria

Enjoying an episode of Sarah & Duck in which Sarah falls asleep and starts dreaming and everything is exactly as surreal as it is in any other episode of Sarah & Duck.

Saw two blokes in suits sat outside Wetherspoons smoking cigars, their plates empty apart from untouched mushy peas. I can only assume this is Tory conference related.

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