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@kass i own dozens if not hundreds of death metal albums and could not give you a workable definition of what death metal is let alone any of the variants like "brutal"

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and your mum tries to be supportive and says something like "hm i wish i could hear the lyrics!" and you take a moment to thank everything holy that she can't make the words out of EE OOOOOO EEEOOEOEOO OO O OO O OOEEEE because if she could you'd be fucked

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and like, you gotta spend years pretending you care about the specifications of sub-genres

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and sometimes someone will ask 'oh cool, what's this one called?' and you have to commit to saying an utterly vile set of words you hoped you'd never have to string together out loud

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you make a lot of sacrifices as a metal fan, gotta take number names at least a little seriously. gotta tell people you like shit called 'stam1na' and 'systemhouse33'

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@EmptyLullaby the great thing ive learned about people violating boundaries is that you can just kick them and then say sorry cause you did it on reflex. doesnt always work but you still hit them so i think its worth it

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i like songs in death metal where the lyrics are basically 'ooo eeee oooeeee ooo eee aaaa eeeh ooo o o ooooo' because i would make those sounds and only those sounds all day if i could

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violence 

*pulls my sword a third of the way out of the scabbard before putting it firmly back in place, my enemies haven fallen dead before me. they did not see the snipers, but the snipers saw the signal*

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starlink's whole everything really shows that elon musk is dedicated not to doing good, but to being seen as doing good by as many people as possible.

it is the way he's solved 'no internet access in remote areas' the same way he tried to solve the problem of that soccer team stuck in a cave in thailand. you know, the time when he said "oh i will build a cool individual submarine to solve this problem" despite all the experts telling him that not only would it not work, it would also not help the situation and he should leave helping to the experts because he would at best get people killed? and then when they got rescued before he could engineer and build a fuckin' tiny submarine, he threw a massive shitfit that included slandering one of the people actually helping as a pedophile multiple times?

yeah he's doing that to the fucking sky now too

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The Roman name Quintus was given to the fifth son.

The name Sextus was given to the son who got laid the most.

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ROMAN SOLDIER: halt, strange person! where are you from?
TIME TRAVELER: i come from the future. what are your names?
ROMAN SOLDIER: my name is QUINTUS, as i am the fifth child in my family. my comrade is SEXTUS, for he was the sixth child in his family. what is your name?
TIME TRAVELER: my name's LIV
ROMAN SOLDIER: [starts counting on his fingers as his eyes open in fear]

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"iloveyoubuddy" must mean something to my cat based on how much I say it. I'll never know what that something is but I'll keep saying it anyway.

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If you asked me to picture the man who invented karaoke, this is exactly the image that would have come to mind

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Sometimes I get upset at my cat because he will never understand how much I fucking love him.

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My absolute favorite thing about this is that it hinges on the assumption that they were using beds for the fucking at all. If I was an Olympic level athlete I would be fucking everywhere but the bed, just really innovating new ways to bang in every possible place in the Olympic village anywYs

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When they decided that the anti-sex bed would only support the weight of one person, did they have to make separate models for different body types, or are the weight lifters sleeping on the floor and the gymnasts fucking like rabbits?

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Cyberhitler69 applauds me for defederating from the poc instances. I see no issue with this, as Cyberhitler69 told me he is no longer a fascist, and has in fact become an expert on whether things are racist or not.

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Finished using my heating pad so my cat got the cooldown

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mas.to

Hello! mas.to is a general-topic, mainly English-speaking instance. We're enthusiastic about Mastodon and aim to run a fast, up-to-date and fun Mastodon instance.