Having a bad time with my MH. Living through other people. EVERYTHING'S GREY IN THIS WORLD etc... can't get started on anything as it's insurmountable. fucking shit load of self esteem issues. the whole gamut. small steps, walks by the river, hiding myself away in things I don't care about. not speaking to anybody if I can help it. eating ALL THE THINGS. 4+ years of therapy and it still fucks me.

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I get rewarded when other people are nice to me or that I successfully help somebody else. it's. so. draining. i have nothing left. nothing else to give.

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