i got a sweet date tonight w my hardwood bedroom floor

shelby boosted

field ecology is so fucking cool shame im going to be working as a process engineer at a defense company to expedite the end of the world

shouting "WHERE THE DOI AT" at my computer until i find the doi

mh 

i havent seen a lot of body horror so when people say "oh its just romanticizing suicide" it makes me want to avoid it more but frankly i feel like it would be a massive relief to die in a horrible accident

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mh 

does anyone else ever fantasize (NOT in a sexual way) about having your body just absolutely ripped apart and and feeling the energy sapped out of your body as you fade away

life kinda do be sufferin doe 😳😳😳

I want to have the confidence of college recruiters at an online career fair.
"Hello how are you?"
"Hello, at this time no but please continue to check our website for openings."

shelby boosted

just got a heads up from the guys upstairs that they're gonna be accelerating the timeline for the end of the world pending clearance from legal.

i folded my laundry that came out of the drier almost a week ago now mastodon be proud of me

shelby boosted

gender predictions for 2020:
- (compressed and bass-boosted radio static noise)
- girl (2020 reboot)
- bose-einstein condensate
- the angel from evangelion who's shaped like a pyramid
- ɹǝpuǝƃ
- this space intentionally left blank

shelby boosted

looking at "my own" face in the mirror, murmuring something about geometry

shelby boosted

uspol 

lol can you imagine the supreme court staging a coup and deciding the winner of the presidential election against the wishes of the american people? the entire country would be up in arms if this happened! it would surely kick off a national uprising, if this ever happened!

are there like black market therapists that wont rat you out for wanting to have a little death

uspol 

i swear to god if these fucking rats try to overturn roe v wade i will personally cut pope francis' cock and balls off

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mas.to

Hello! mas.to is a general-topic, mainly English-speaking instance. We're enthusiastic about Mastodon and aim to run a fast, up-to-date and fun Mastodon instance.