Introduction Post

Hi everyone! I'm Lanie Molinar Carmelo (she/her), and I'm thrilled to join the amazing community here on allovertheplace.ca! Here's a little about me:

Who I Am

• Conservative #Christian woman and #Aroace
  
• Totally #blind and #ActuallyAutistic, living with multiple #chronicIllnesses
  
• Advocate for #DisabilityRights, passionate about creating a more inclusive world
  

I'm a #UsabilityTester and an aspiring #AccessibilityConsultant, working to make technology better for everyone, especially those of us with disabilities. I'm most passionate about helping those with multiple disabilities, as it's an area that doesn't get enough attention.

Meet Squeaker!

I'm also the proud human to my 10-year-old Miniature Pinscher, Squeaker, who is the best little companion anyone could ask for. He drives me nuts sometimes, but I don't know what I'd do without him. My profile picture features me with Squeaker, and my header shows him wrapped in a blanket with just his adorable face peeking out!

What I’m Studying

I'm currently learning:

• Digital Accessibility through the BIT Accessibility Analyst Course
• Literary Braille Proofreading via the NLS
• Programming on platforms like freeCodeCamp and Codecademy
  

My goal is to develop accessible apps that empower people with disabilities, contribute to open-source projects that promote inclusion, and just do what I can to make the world more accessible.

What I Do

I run or co-lead several online support groups for people with multiple disabilities. These groups provide safe spaces to connect, share resources, and talk with others who "get it." You can find them here:

• Facebook: Multiple Disabilities Peer to Peer Support Group
  
• Discord/Mailing List: MultAbilities
  
• Clubhouse: People with Multiple Disabilities
  

Right now, my focus is on growing these groups and making connections with others who are passionate about supporting multiply disabled individuals. If you're interested in joining or collaborating, feel free to reach out or check out my website at laniecarmelo.tech, where you'll find links to all the groups!

My Interests

When I’m not advocating or studying, you can find me:

• Exploring #technology and experimenting with self-hosting on my Raspberry Pi
  
• Reading #SciFi, #Fantasy, #Mystery, and some nonfiction
  
• Playing #AccessibleGaming titles like incremental games, puzzles, RPGs, roguelikes, and MUDs
  
• Enjoying delicious food—especially #chocolate, #seafood, #milk, and #cheese
  

I also love swimming when my health allows it.

My Goals

One day, I hope to found a nonprofit organization to support multiply disabled individuals. The nonprofit would:

• Provide peer support groups
• Help fund assistive technology
• Advocate for education and employment opportunities
• Collaborate with disability-focused organizations to improve accessibility

For now, I'm focused on running my support groups and building connections that could help make this dream a reality. If you have ideas or resources—or just want to chat—let me know!

Let’s Connect!

I’m always happy to chat about:

• Accessibility in #tech or tech in general
  
• Disability advocacy
  
• Programming (#HTML, #JavaScript)
  
• Braille
  
• Books
  
• Or just life in general!
  

Feel free to follow me here or check out my website at laniecarmelo.tech.

So I Think I May Be More Aroace Than Originally Estimated??

I’ve been doing some Thinking about how my brain works, and it would seem that my particular DICK HEAD COMBINATION OF AUDHD gives me the worst traits of both autism AND ADHD. Like, if given enough stimulants and time, I can hyperfocus forever on something I’m fascinated with to the point where I learn an ungodly amount of information about it and retain nearly all of it. Not just that, but I make creations with that knowledge, too. This fucking blog, for example. It’s linked in with the Fediverse via ActivityPub and Alex Kirk’s masterful Friends plugins, etc.. My numerous special interests have been combining, reshuffling and making unholy bastard children in my mental Back 40 on this tiny hell site since May because of the way my cracked brainhole works.

Conversely, in order to socialize, I have to focus on whatever social thing is going on around me completely and let myself dissolve into it. Switching between whatever the fuck project has taken hold of my mind and going into a social activity of any form is a multistep process that requires me ACTUALLY MANUALLY SHIFTING MY BRAIN AWAY from the project rabbit hole and into the social one. And there is a grouchy hell to pay if I’m interrupted mid project.

However, I thought about it a step further. I have pretty much always been able to discern the difference between the feelings I get when the various happy chemicals, dopamine, oxytocin, and serotonin, are triggered in my brain, body, etc., and upon further contemplation, I began to wonder if that’s why my particular bastard flavor of AuDHD is such a bastard to begin with. Because what I noticed from years of combing back through my system’s memories both pre and most massive integration is that my happy chemicals seem to be fucking heavily partitioned, and perhaps that’s why I can discern the difference between the feelings they give me in the first place. Hence that’s probably why I have to manually shift between projects (dopamine) and socializing (oxytocin).

Serotonin is a whole other can of worms for me and I have to manually induce that bitch, too. It often takes days and that’s a whole OTHER post. I might write about that bastard chemical later, lol. She is a cruel mistress

Last night, a long time aroace friend dropped me into a Facebook group called [aroace confusion intensifies]. I’ve identified as demi-aromantic/demi-asexual for some time, but as I kept relating to more and more posts, I thought more and more about the happy chemical partition theory I have going and all of my relationships, both current and past, and how my batshit brain might play into ALLLL of that.

Now, I do experience attraction to SOME people. But with the whole “having to shift my brain manually into a state where it won’t scream when I need to socialize” thing, the frequency in which I fall into random projects, and the fact that I experience a near complete lack of linear time and object permanence, said attraction takes a VERY LONG TIME to form, if it ever forms at all. Deep, genuine, romantic attachment to a person takes EVEN FUCKING LONGER. Because what the ENTIRE fuck is a “romance” as society has established it, anyway? So it takes my crippled ass YEARS sometimes to get a damned clue. And I think my cracked brainhole is why, lmao. Polyamory has been a lifesaver in that regard because in order to have a healthy polyamorous relationship, the people involved HAVE TO ENGAGE IN A HEFTY AMOUNT OF NEGOTIATION FROM THE OUTSET about expectations and things about the relationship, which my clueless ass can DEFINITELY get behind.

So unfortunately, when person number ten billion comes up to me is like “LAZARUS. I LOVE YOUR WORK. I AM IN LOVE WITH YOU. PLEASEEEEEE DATE ME, ETC”, more often than not, I have just emerged from my mental Laz Cave, haven’t seen or interacted with a soul in fourteen hours or more, and haven’t shifted into Oxytocin Mode yet, which is necessary for human bonding, so I’m like,

“uh. What year is it again?”

Stay tuned for more (brainhole) magic, gremlins.

-Lazarus

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