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@godlessmom@mas.toAfter a famous YouTuber was facing allegations of sexual assault, and someone proposed that famous men stop sleeping with their fans, I saw a comment from someone,
“Then what’s the purpose of getting famous?”
And it just smacked me like I’d told a joke at the Oscars.
Yo, do dudes really think the only reason to earn recognition is so that you can get laid?
My god, how are we the same species? How powerfully pathetic and sad to be unable to find value in anything but getting off. WTF
@godlessmom power over other people doesn't fix your deep insecurities. Most of these people think it does. Part of growing up is learning respect for other people, and some people just don't get that.
Sadly, that is literally why most men do most things that men do.
@Ody so much ick.
@godlessmom You're not wrong but there is an element of biological fact here we infer from anthropology.
Women are often attracted to those who have the means to provide. Again, not all women and not all women who feel that attraction will pursue it but it can be, for lack of a better term, a powerful aphrodisiac.
So, status seeking activities and achievement can be effective when you're seeking to get laid. It just plain works.
As for men seeking sex, also anthropology.
@rant if what you’re saying is that men, innately, want one thing and one thing only while women have the ability to enjoy more about life, then it must suck for men to be so intellectually inferior.
@godlessmom I'm saying humans can enjoy many things but still have a preference for a favorite thing. I hope that isn't yet controversial.
We are varied, to be sure, but our survival over the past hundred thousand years was predicated on a strong desire to mate and raise our beautiful, cute kids.
@rant but you understand my toot was not about someone having a favourite thing. It was about someone wanting to get famous so he can use his influence to fuck women. In other words, it’s about being a predator and the fact that people don’t get that right away is very, very concerning.
@godlessmom Then I misunderstood. There are certainly predators out there. There are certainly celebrities who have behaved in that way.
I'm not informed on YouTube celebrity news and didn't glean from your post that you were talking about a predator but rather someone accused of a single act of malfeasance.
So lacking that context, I clearly 'didn't get it' right away & was focused on why the power dynamics & instincts work the way they do. Motives & how we might combat that behavior.
@rant if someone is only getting famous to have sex with more people, they’re using their influence to do so.
The whole point of my toot was the comment from someone suggesting that the only reason to get famous is to be able to influence more people to sleep with you.
Using your position to influence someone to sleep with you is predatory.
@godlessmom It's a biological imperative and shaming it can lead to unfortunate situations, many we see today in the behavior of young men and who they choose to idolize.
I only mention it because the more we understand the roots of our problems (powerful men have more access, in general, to sexual partners and will be likely to seek it out) then the more we can combat these gross displays of objectifying humans and discarding them after use.
Which we should condemn & look to combat.
@godlessmom Getting a little creeped out by the agro sex-negativity here. It is possible to be sex-positive and non-icky. Check out Dan Savage for healthy positivity.
@BGAtlanta sex positivity is not the state of only being able to enjoy sex and nothing else.
Sex positivity is about accepting that we enjoy sex, sometimes even nasty dirty sex. But well-rounded happy people also enjoy other things about life.
Getting famous to be able to fuck more people isn’t sex positive. It’s predatory.
@godlessmom @BGAtlanta Men bond through activities, sex is an enjoyable bonding activity.
These guys don't get anything like a proper rapport with their partner, and are sort of just jacking off using other people's bodies. Which is missing the point. No need to shame what could be a simple and fun way of passing time/bonding, when the issue is HOW, imo
They view women as inaccessible and want to be close with them but are emotionally stunted & unable to connect bcuz boys aren't allowed to feel
️ &
@BGAtlanta
i must have read a different post because i failed to find any agro sex-negativity. On the other hand, if you are holding up Savage as a beacon of healthy positivity, maybe i see the problem.
@godlessmom
@godlessmom
So. Much. Himpathy. in these here comments. Who will think of the poor menz?
@godlessmom It makes me wonder how much a society that canonized self interest over collective interest might impact this pattern.
@godlessmom Hey, that’s not fair. They also use money to get laid. 
@godlessmom There are a *lot* of dudes who never get beyond that lead-poisoned-13-y.o.level of emotional immaturity. Call them the Limp Bizkit-brained. Note that as #metoo taught us, they are often successful and powerful, and they promote and protect each other.
There have been several instances in my life where I was in a room of all guys in a professional setting and the biggest boss there was leading the group in Jr high level comments about "I mean women, right?" but often much more crude. One can speak out in such moments, but it's incredibly damaging to your professional and social standing. You tend to just not get invited to stuff in the future, and certainly not promoted. (Ask me how I know.)
The simple, depressing thing is that being crude and derogatory towards women is just how a lot of guys bond with each other. Given the role of brute egotism in both this dynamic and power structures per se, one can only imagine it is only moreso the higher one goes. #patriarchy #feminism
@godlessmom No. That's not representative of my half (more or less) of the species.
It's representative of the percentage of my half of the species that are scumbags.
Thankfully, it's a relatively low percentage, albeit not nearly low enough.
It was almost certainly a joke. No, that doesn't mean I think it was funny. It was a joke because it sounded funny to him, in his head. The intention was for it to be a joke, I'm sure. Doesn't excuse or justify it. Don't shoot the messenger, please. 
@godlessmom It's not just the getting off, I suspect. It's obtaining the feeling of being desirable, accepted, wantable that's seriously missing from their lives. And that probably stems from childhood.