Subject: On boundaries.
I’ve noticed a pattern about when I'm told I should have boundaries.
It’s that it usually seems to mean that I should have boundaries to keep out the needs and wishes of those less powerful than, or equal to, me.
A thread.
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But it doesn't usually seem to mean having boundaries against the biggest things in my life that may be harming and depleting me.
Things like institutions – one’s workplace, one’s school, one’s government, the competitive societal structure in general.
And...
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And those (now I’ve done the thread on ‘twelve ways to know when you’re exploiting someone’) who I realize are extracting something from me they need.
https://mas.to/@KatyElphinstone/113581417015412079
Often they're the same people telling me I should have boundaries.
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The power differential issue around 'boundaries' isn’t often considered.
The people who advise me about my boundaries aren't very interested in this aspect.
One therapist got angry when I talked about society’s power structures as my biggest problem.
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@KatyElphinstone I really don't get that reaction by the therapist you mentioned.
They're supposed to be system thinkers, too, so how are they not prepared to deal with that? That's a very real problem and acknowledging that no amount of therapy to an individual will fix a large system isn't that hard.
From a good therapist, I'd expect that they present strategies on how to remain able to act and think positively, despite the system around you.
@lizzard @KatyElphinstone. The four therapists I knew in college, all felt I had to change to accept the physical and financial abuse of spouse, family, and society.
Oooh ouch. Sounds a bit similar to this, I think.
I was recently looking at lists of new books online and I saw there's one on the dark history & gaslighting nature of much therapy. Wish I could remember the title